Scarlet Letter: The A Stands for Awesome
by Her Topaz Eyes
Summary: Hester Prynne is an awesome vampire and the Adonis like Darth Vader has come to down. The result nine months later is the even more Adonis like Darth Edward Cullin Vader, the most awesome vampire who was ever awesome.
1. Chapter 1

I DO NOT OWN SCARLET LETTER, STAR WARS, OR TWILIGHT. BUT I WISH I DID. *whispers* No I don't.

It was an obnoxiously loud night in the town center. People were screaming and shouting, Hester Prynne thought she had to get out somehow and just go home. But there were people everywhere and blocking the paths to her house. It also didn't help that she was on top of the hill. She really needed to get home before the sun came up.

Everyone was up there because there was a horrible giant SOMETHING up in the sky and no one knew what it was. It looked as though it were made completely out of metal, and it was huge and floating in the sky! But suddenly it flew away, paused, and you could see a long beam of light come out from it, and it was off again, this time for good.

The Christian people of the unnamed Massachusetts town thought it an act of the devil and would have nothing to do with it, so little by little, they made their ways back home. Hester was greatly relieved. The sun was on its way up for sure.

You see, Hester wasn't like the other townsfolk. She was slightly more awesome. Because she was a vampire. She did very well in hiding it as well. No one understood why she never came out during the day or why people were dying in the night time but everyone was too Christian to make the connection because they thought they were all sinners being punished. So Hester Prynne stayed in her lovely coffin during the day and fed during the night. But of course she didn't really have a chance to eat tonight because of the weird thing in the sky.

What was it? No one knew, but Hester remembered that long beam of light that came from it and wanted to check it out. She would rest tonight and hope it would still be there in the night.

She slowly approached the magnificent feature. She looked upon and saw his Adonis like figure, his strong body, and his long deep breaths. The man had a queer black suit on with an equally strange helmet. There was something on his chest that was flashing red and blue. He had a long black cape and a strange looking handle attached to his belt. She asked the stranger his name and in between long breaths he answered and a horribly deep voice.

"Darth..*Squooo-Skeeesh Squooo-Skeeesh* …Vader" said the horrifying yet tantalizingly Adonis like man. Hester further approached the Adonis like man and felt his Adonis like arms and his Adonis like chest. Adonis. The Adonis man took her in his arms and she looked up into his frightening mask unafraid. (WOULDN'T THAT CREEP YOU OUT? STARING AT DARTH VADER'S ADONIS LIKE MASK POINT BLANK?) That night after they had been together, she dreamed about being together with him and his Adonis like features. That was the night she became pregnant with the most awesome vampire the world had ever known.

Two months later the town folk all became nocturnal, which irritated Hester because now it would be harder for her to eat. But luckily for her, eating was only a pleasure thing. She didn't have to because in stories like this, you can just make up rules about vampires.

Another month later it had become apparent that Hester had become pregnant. The townspeople were infuriated. They made her wear a huge Velcro A to her dress and stand on top of her deck in her back yard while they all wore winter wear and pointed at her and called her a whore and stuff. She vowed she would devour them all one day. None of this mattered anyway because she was proud to spend the night with her Adonis like freakshow.

Six months later she gave birth. Her baby was an Adonis of a baby. She decided to name him after his father and named him Darth Edward Cullin Vader. Also, in this story, all vampires have lazer vision. Because I said so. Baby Death Edward Cullin Vader killed the mid-wife with his Adonis like lazer vision and then laughed. Hester was so proud. Adonis.

Darth Edward Cullin Vader grew up a happy and Adonis like child without the need of friends. Why would an Adonis like vampire need to befriend stupid regular humans? They weren't awesome like he was or Adonis in any way. Hester looked on with pride as her son as he terrorized the townsfolk with his awesome Adonis like lazer vision.


	2. Chapter 2

I DO NOT OWN THE THREE STORIES USED TO MAKE THIS MASTERPIECE

Darth Edward Cullin Vader was now ten hundred years old, but he still only looked 17. And he was still only in the 18th century. Vampires are weird like that. But Darth Edward Cullin Vader was lonely. He was not like he was when he was a child, he now longed for a friend, but he killed everyone with his lazer vision already. Hester comforted him and he broke away.

"No, mother!" he said "I must go to high school and make friends!" he insisted.

This was also not possible because he had already killed all the teachers in his town. With his lazer vision of course. So they moved to another town, and it wasn't anywhere near as Christian, so Hester and Darth Edward Cullin Vader were in for some luck. Darth Edward Cullin Vader enrolled in "We Don't Believe in Vampires" High School.

"Is that your full name, sir?" asked the attendant.

"Yes." he answered.

And with that he started his first day of school. But sadly this town only had enough teachers for every student to stay in the same room all day. Darth Edward Cullin Vader had gotten landed in Science class.

His teacher was pretty weird. He had a queer black suit on with an equally strange helmet. There was something on his chest that was flashing red and blue. He had a long black cape and a strange looking handle attached to his belt. When Darth Edward Cullin Vader asked him his name he replied, in a very deep voice in between long breaths:

"Mr. . *Squooo-Skeeesh Squooo-Skeeesh* Darth…*Squooo-Skeeesh Squooo-Skeeesh*..Vader."

Darth Edward Cullin was stunned for a moment. Did this man really have the same hair do as him under that helmet? It was unthinkable, but he sat down and took his first day of school.

He noticed a girl. She wasn't apparently anything too special. She wasn't pretty, she wasn't smart, she was horribly clumsy, she couldn't do anything right, she was bald, she had no teeth, and a uni-brow. But he instantly fell in love with her. He tried talking to her.

"Hello, I'm-" "ACHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she sneezed all over him. He was covered in her germs. He went home and took a shower, then tried again.

"Hello, I'm Darth Edward Cullin Vader" he greeted.

"Hi, I'm Swella Ban." she answered. Her voice sounded like a thousand nails on a chalkboard.

"Would you- Would you like to go out later?" he asked

She was about to answer but Darth Vader stabbed her with his lightsaber.

*Squooo-Skeeesh Squooo-Skeeesh* No talking in Class.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Darth Edward Cullin Vader screamed. He attacked Darth Vader with his lazer vision and missed, blowing up the chalk board.

"I'm actually..okay" said Swella out of nowhere, but they didn't notice. Suddenly a GIANT WOLF jumped through the window and landed on Swella. He turned into a human.

"My name is Jedi Jacob Black Skywalker!" he announced, but just then Darth Edward Cullin blasted him with his lazer vision. He went flying in the air and turned into a werewolf.

Swella was just getting up again when Jedi Jacob Black Skywalker's GIANT WOLF form landed on her again. He got up.

Darth Vader froze them all with the force. "You're all suspended" he said.

So they all had to stay out of school. They began to hang out. Swella fell in love with Darth Edward Cullin Vader because when they went into the sun he sparkled! But Hester was deeply worried by this and called Edward home. She told him that if a vampire sparkles in the sun then he's gay and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Now that she mentioned it, Jedi Jacob Black Skywalker did seem pretty Adonis like. With his Adonis like arms, his Adonis like hair, his Adonis like body, his Adonis like face, his Adonis like wolf form. Adonis. Darth Edward Cullin blasted Swella away and started to make out with Jedi Jacob Black Skywalker. Adonis. But suddenly Jedi Jacob Black Skywalker pushed Darth Edward Cullin Vader away.

"I'm sorry..I'm just getting over a bad relationship." he explained as he held up a lock of donkey hair and looked at it sadly.

"I understand" said Darth Edward Cullin Vader. "I'm here for you if you need or want me."

All this happened because I decided to manipulate the rules of LIFE ITSELF and type out whatever I wanted to happen, and guess what!? This happened! This story is based on a true false story! That's right! It actually happened but it didn't because it did! Look up Darth Edward Cullin Vader on Wikipedia! There will be a huge and long article that won't actually be there!


End file.
